Often I Reflect Upon ....

Often I Reflect Upon
What Occurred
Between Herself
and Myself when She
was in Ireland

We Met on the
4th of August 2001
She Left Ireland
in Early 2002

Initially it
Was Good
Between Us ...
I felt that I had met
Someone Very Special !!!!
I felt that I had met
Someone I could Regard
and Value as a
Friend for Life !!!!


This Entry in my Blogg
Is "Work in Progress"
in the sence that
I am still Working
on writing as Comprehensive
an Account of what Occurred
and as Accurate an Account
of How I Feel about Her Today !!!!
Before I Go any further in All
that I can and could Talk about
I just wish to Declare that
I scincerely am Aiming
for the Very Best of
All Possible Eventualites !!!!
That I Believe in Goodness !!!!
and I Do Believe in Love !!!!
and If the Ultimate Act of Love
that I could Ever Give Her
is to Let Go ????
- Than So Be It !!!!

Origionally this Entry to the Blogg
was Started on the 7th of November
as I write It is Now thursday the 27 th November'08
and I am Still Adding to It
-Why ? - Because I Often Think of Her !!!!
- Because in my Prayers I am Aiming
for an Outcome that is the
Ultimate Good for the Two of Us !!!!

I Consider All Possible Eventualities ????
and Only What is Good is Wellcome !!!!

I Do Genuinely Care about Her !!!!
Her Happieness Her Wellbeing
Do Matter and Are Important
in whatever Ultimate Outcome !!!!



Now I Acknowledge
a Lot of Confusion
about what is Possible ????
and Also Incomprehension
about Whatt Occurred
when She Lived in Ireland


When I first met Her
I Realised this is
Someone Unique and Very Rare !!!!
This is Someone Significant !!!!
I Felt Very Safe(:in that I
could Talk to Her about
Anything - That I could
Be 100% Open and Honest with Her !!!!)
I also Felt Very Comfertable
in Her Company !!!!
and there were So Many
Little Items about Her
that I Liked !!!!
I Smiled Often
with Affection !!!!





[-in Hindsight:
though I did Not
realise it at the Time
I Believe that I fell
in Love with Her !!!!]

Yet Sadly We Fell Out
over Really Very Little !!
and If We had
Talked to One Another ????
Truely I Believe We
could have Cleared Up
what had caused Us
to Fall Out !!

Subsequently
I Made Many
Unsucessful Attempts
to Make Peace with Her
She Used to Lash Out in Anger
when I Tryed to Reach Out to Her

I was Shocked and Bewildered
at Her Anger
at Her Rudeness
at How Little She "Cared"
about my Feelings
It was a Very Distressing Time
I could Not Understand
Her Hostility

Because there was
Once a Time
when We were Good Friends !!!!
Once there was a Time
when there was Mutual Trust !!!!
Once there was a Time
when We could
Talk to One Another !!!!


To This Very Day
Often It Still Adversely Affects Me
Especially When
I am Feeling Down or Low

The Situation
Between Us
Was Never Resolved

All I Asked of Her
was "Please Can We
Arrange to Meet and
have a Talk about
What has Occured Between Us?"

Today We Are
Seperated by 1000's of
Actual Kilometers

Realistically (Other
than via E-Mail)the
Only Way We Could
Resolve What Occured
Between Us :
= Would Be
A Dialogue
Via Letters !!!!

[-This Actual Posting on my Blogg is Not Well Written
because The Issue Itself is Very Complicated also there is a
Lot of Noise and Activity about as I Endeavour to Communicate]


Today How Do I Feel About Her ????

- If It Was Possible
To Gentley Lovingly Affectionally Hug Embrace Her ????
- Yes !!!! Yes !!!! Yes !!!! Yes !!!!
- I Would with Utter Joy !!!!
- For I Still Love Her !!!!

Because I Still Have
Positive Friendly
Loving Feelings For Her !!!!
and in my Prayers
I Do Wish Her Well !!!!

Yet Also in my Prayers
I am Asking Almighty God
to Please Faciletate
and to Please Allow
Reconciliation Between Us !!!!

If However that It is the Will of God
that I Let Her Go !!!!
and Accept that It is Over ????
Than So Be It !!!!

Whatever is in the Ultimate Good ????
So May it Be !!!!
With the Blessing and the Love of God !!!!