Enjoyed a Lovely Walk by the Sea Today !!!!

Today the Weather is Sunny and Bright
and I Enjoyed a Lovely Walk by the Sea !!!!
- also I Feel Better Today !!!!
- I Feel More Positive !!!!

Often there are many Potential Possibilities !!!!

Often there are Many
Potential Possibilities !!!!

Yet what Often does Occurr
is the Unexpected !!!!
the Un-Envisaged !!!!

Even for example the title of this Posting
Origionally I was going to title it as :
"Often there are many Options to choose from" !!!!
and than launch into my 'Spiel' about the Unexpected

Scince I started on this Posting:
i have just learnt that the music course Today
is closing down for the christmas period and
will not resume until mid-January 2009
- That was certainly Unexpected News !!
[i am sad and disappointed and a bit'taken aback'-i did not even get access to the grand piano this week and even access to a computer has been difficult to say the least - it feels like we are being Rushed Out of the premises]

As for this Blogg ????
It will depend on my access to a Computer
which is Often Unpredictable !!
It might actually be next year
sometime or other in january
when i next get to Blogg


Any Good News ???? Yes !!!!
New Music Came to me as I walked here
through the Misty streets of Galway
and whenever Music Comes to me ????
I Feel Happy about Everything!!!!
I also Feel Good about Myself !!!!
and I also Feel Good about Life !!!!


-when I have the oppurtunity ??
i might Return to finish this Posting ??
and if Not ????

Well Happy Christmas !!!!
and a Happy New Year !!!!
and God Bless You All !!!!

Just had an Exam Today - Ugh !!

Just had an Exam in Music Theory
and It was Awful - I hadn't a Clue !!
I do not know do I have some form of Dyslexia??
I Do Regard myself as Inarticulate
[clumsy ackward and inexact with Words]
and I am even more hopeless with Numbers and Symbols
The Exam was about Music Notation:writing and reading Music
and I was completely Blank;it might as well have been
Ancient Greek or Swahili I was been Quized about
I was completely Blank !!

my self esteem was Zilch afterwards !!

until What Rescued me and Raised me Up
was I started Singing an Air:
[a piece of Music that 'Came'to me !!!!]
and the Urge to Play it on the Piano
became Overwhelming !!!!
and my Self Belief was Restored !!!!
I was Happy Once more - Thank God !!!!


I have a Real Gift in Music !!!!
I Really Feel Good about my Gift !!!!
It is a Very Real Gift !!!!
and It Really Cheers me Up !!!!

Thank God !!!!

Ceolchoirm Anocht !!!! - We played a Concert !!!!

Tonight We played a very enjoyable Concert !!!!

There is a very beautifull full moon tonight !!!!

We have been weeks rehearsing for this Concert

and the responce to our Music Making is Positive !!!!

Is Tús Nua an Bhlian Nua !!!!

The New Year is a New Start !!!!
- an Oppurtunity for a New Begining !!!!

A lot of Good occured in 2008 !!!!
For example the Election of Barack Obama !!!!

and of course the Irish Film 'Once'
winning an Oscar was Wonderfull !!!!

- As for my own Existance also refered to as my Life ????
Well getting Samples of my Music Out on to the Internet
is a Personal Achievement that matters a Lot !!!!

Plenty of New Music is Coming and
I am Hoping to Compile Future Podcasts !!!!
- at Prescent I am attending and particapating
in a full-time course in Music - It is a Good course !!!!
The People are Really Nice and the course itself is
Interesting in a Multi-Dimensional Way !!!!
My Own Specific Interest is in Composing Music !!!!
- yet I am also Enjoying Performing
Music in public as Well !!!!

As for this Blogg ????
I kind off accedently stumbled into It !!!!
and to be honest: -It can be Addictive
so much so? I am Trying to Ease Off !!!!
and Yes I am Aware that
I do Overdo the Exclamation(!!!!)marks
and Yes I do Overdo
[or should that be correctly described as OverUse?)
the facility to enable Capital Letters to manifest
Yes I do acknowledge it is Not exactly Kosher
and Yes I do make many Spelling mistakes
and Yes I do Say very little
and Yes what I Blogg about is rather Boring
and Yes I recently have inadvertantly Strayed
into discussing and commentating about
a Private Personal Issue:[-i am refering
to the postings of 2nd december and the
7th of november]-It is an Issue
that Often occupies my Thoughts
I have told Her about this Blogg
I do Not know does She ever Visit it ????
a Lot of what I could Say to Her
would be more Appropiate to be
Communicated to Her in a Private Letter !!!!
To Be Honest I would Rather Not be
Talking about it in this Blogg !!!!
- My Intention is to Delete the majority
[if not all] of what I have
written about this Issue !!!!
The only reosen it is still up
is because Other than this Blogg
I have No Other Way
to Reach Out to Her !!!!

Now I do believe in the Value
and the Virtue of Letting Go !!!!

What I am considering is when I can find the Time
is to Do a 'Spring-Clean' of this Blogg
what that will Entail will be a
Lot of Deletion of accumulated Postings
There are 34 Posts within and up on this Blogg
and my Intention is to 'whittle'
[edit] it down to 10 or Less !!!!
also in Future Posts to the Blogg
I Will Endeavor to Ease Off on
the Excessive Over Use of 'Capital'Letters
and the Over Abundance of Exclamation marks !!!!
- Also if I can remember how?
I might Alter the Colour of
the Lay-Out to this Blogg !!!!

After All It is a New Year Coming Up
and consequentially Potentially a New Start !!!!

In Relation to Us if We are to Meet again ????

If We are ever to Meet again ????
If All will Go as I wish and desire ????

We will Meet in a Good Way
It will be a Friendly Interaction
and It will be Lovely
If You would allow me to
Touch Your Hands !!!!
and also to Gently Embrace You !!!!
and If You allow me ????
I would Love to Give You
a very gentle Loving
Kiss on Your Forehead !!!!
- as a gesture of
Affection from me to You !!!!

Of course it would be Good
If we could Listen and Talk
to One Another in a Polite
Trusting One Another Way !!!!

There was a Time Once
when We were able to
Listen and Talk to One Another
and when We Trusted and Believed
what the Other was Saying !!!!

As for Our Past ????
If it is Your Wish
Not to Talk about It ????
- I will Respect
your Feelings in that Regard !!!!

=====================================
There are many Potential Options Maybe Available ????
Yet Experiance Tells me that what will occurr is
what I least expect or anticepate -Anyway I Hope
Somehow in a Good Way We Will Be Reconciled !!!!

-[- as for the rest of what I have typed out on this posting?
In Comparison to You?-I am Inarticulate:clumsy ackward inexact with words!!
and as for the Rest of this Posting??
Please regard it as 'So much Foolishness' and 'Letting-Off Steam'
- In Truth it Appears Unlikey that We shall ever be Re-United in Actual Person or in Real Time or in Real Life!!!!

- However I am Entitled to Hope and to Dream !!!!
and It Sure Cheers me Up Dreaming of Possible Rápprochement
and even More Wonderfull of All: Reconciliation with You !!!!
-as for the circumstances in which I Typed out All of what follows:
-usually I Only have a Few Moments on the Internet;
which Explains why what is Writen in the remainder of this Posting is Writen the Way it is[i.e. usually in brief unconected 'Snatchs'of Time !!]To be honest I do not know does any of it make Sence? Other than what follows is an Accurate Reflection of my Feelings !!!!

= = = = = = = = = =

Probebly Nobody Reads this Boring Blogg Anyway !!!!

- Anyway If You are Willing
to discuss what occurred
between Us all those years ago ????

First I would wellcome You
Explaining what You were refering too
- when You accused me of
"Not Respecting the Limits"

When you said that to me:-
-I Tell You Truthfully that
I had Not a Clue
Not an 'iota' of an Understanding
of what You were Accusing me off
at the Time I was Too Polite
to get into a discussion with You over this Issue!
also I figered You would Not Believe
Anything I would have said !
-I Actually am One of the Most
Ultra Polite People
You Will Ever Meet
and Honestly I was Bewildered
by what You Accused me Off !!


In Hindsight I Wonder
was what You were Referring too ????
- was it the Issue of :-
"I telling You that:
- I Love You !!!!"

Yes I Do Love You !!!!
and I Will Always Love You !!!!

However I am Realistic about It All !!!!
- - in the sence that
First of All: We are Seperated by 1000's of kms
-than there are Other Practical Real Life
considerations such as Day to Day Living
Truthfully I Tell You there are Times
I Contemplate "What it could be like
If We Ever Chose to Become a Couple ????"
- and Yes I am Daft Enough to Say: Yes !!!!
- Yes as in:I am Even Daft Enough to Marry You !!!!

However Saying Yes is the Easy Part
In Reality We would have to Negotiate
some sort of Mutual Agreement in Advance


I Acknowlege that The Two of Us
are So Different in So Many Ways


You have more "Get Up and Go" [than I]
and I Salute You in that Regard !!!!
You are more of a Free Spirit [than I]
and I Respect that Quality in You !!!!
You are also more Passionate about Travel [than I]
- years ago I did Travel alot and I Enjoyed my Time Abroad !!!!
these Days though my Priority is What Am I to Do in Life ????

As for my Positive Qualities ????
- I am More Polite than You are
also I am a much Nicer Person !!!!
(-I would Never have Behaved to You
as You did when You were in Ireland)
also I Do have a Very Real Gift in Music !!!!

People who knew You described You
as "Very Nice and Easygoing -!!!!"
which makes It even more Incomprehensible
that You Chose to Behave in such a
Ruthless,Harsh,Angry,Rude and Uncaring Way
At the Time I could Not believe what I was Experiancing

Now in Fairness to You:
You told me Something Awfull
happened to You about the
Time of Your Birthday in October'01
-also You told me that 'Your Life
was Falling Apart'in early January'02
So a Lot Else was Going On in Your Life
Way back than Other than Our Falling Out

We Should have Talked to One Another !!!!
I was Your Very First Friend in Galway !!!!
and I Am Still Your Friend !!!!
I Am Only Too Willing to Try to Understand You !!!!


Your Actions and the Way
You spoke Still Resonate to this Day
-I am Constantly Reminded
of what Occurred Between Us
Memories and Thoughts of You
Assail me also many Unanswered Questions
as to What caused You to become So Hostile
Your Rudeness and Anger was Incomprehensible
because It seemed So out of Character for You !!!!

Remember I was Your Friend !!!!
Before We Fell Out
I had Many Positve
Experiances of You !!!!

I Did Ask You "Please can We Talk"
I Did Ask You "Please can We make Peace
before You leave Ireland"
Sadly You Refused and Consequently
the Situation Between Us
to this Day is Still Unresolved !!

I Deserved Better of You !!!!
I was Your Friend
and I am Still Your Friend !!!!

You Should have Co-operated with my Request
when You had the Oppurtunity
when You Lived in Ireland !!!!


Truthfully I Tell You:
-I am Very Forgiving and
I Do Forgive You !!!!
and I Will Always Forgive You !!!!

I Forgive You !!!!
I Also Wish You Very Well !!!!


Do We have Anything in Common ????
Yes Music !!!! Love of Music !!!!
also We Both Like Being Outdoors in the Fresh Air !!!!
- also We Do Both have a sence of Humour !!!!

When You were in Ireland
I was never Aware that You Composed Music
and when I did discover[after You left Ireland]
that You are a Composer !!!!
Something Inside me Soared with Affirmative Joy !!!!

As for my Gift in Music?
Neither of Us was Aware at the Time
of How Gifted I am in Music !!!!
Paradoxically one of the consequences of
Our Falling Out indirectly
Resulted in the Awakening of my Gift !!!!

It is One of the Reosens
[as well as the Love I Feel for You !!!!]
that I am Still making the Effort
to Reach Out to You !!!!

Origionally I was going to Title this Posting
"If I had a Magic Wand?"
or"If All Would Go as I Wish !!!!"

The Christmas Lights are Up in Galway
They Look especially very Beautiful on
the street You used to live at !!!!
I always Remember You when I walk past
where You used to live !!!!

Christmas 2001 was Rough
because You were absolutely
Horrible to me -You lashed out
in Anger whenever I approached You
at the Time I experianced
Misery as a consequence
of Your harsh Implacable
Ruthless Unwillingness
to Even Talk or Even Be Polite or Nice !!!!

There was No Dignity
in what I Experianced
from what You Inflicted !!

On the matter of No Dignity ??
The Worst of the Worst was ....
Our Final Encounter/Interaction on 2/2/2002
-It was Not the Way for Us to Say Goodbye
-Long after You Left Ireland
Flashbacks of that Incedent
Often Assailed me - so much so
that Often I would Awake out of
my Sleep in the Early Hours
with the Image of Your Angry Eyes Blazing
"What did I do?to deserve such Hostility"
I am Not Your Enemy -Yet
You Behaved Consistantly to me as
If I was Your Worst Enemy !!
I Am Not Your Enemy !!

In Fact I Am Your Friend !!!!


Yet I have a True Story
from that Dreadfull Time
about the Power of Music
to Instantly Positively Transform All !!!!

One evening at Night-time
walking through the Markette
at St Nichlaus's - in Galway
My Misery Instantly disappeared

-to Be Replaced by Happieness and Joy !!!!
when I Heard the Gorgeous Notes of a Song !!!!

It is a Very Well Known Song
[that was Re-released at Christmas 2001
and Sung by Nicole Kidman and Robbie Williams]
The Words are Recognisable and Appropiate
considering All that Occurred and Certainly
I Nominate It as "Our Song"

The Words are:-"and than I had to spoil It All
by saying something stupid like: I Love You !!!!"

Yeah that is Our Song !!!!
The Words are So Appropiate
and the Melody is Gorgeous !!!!

Everytime I Remember that Song
I Smile at the Happy Memory it Induced !!!!
It is a Beautifull Song !!!!
It is Our Song for Now !!!!

Of course I am Hoping
and I am Praying for
a Positive Transformation
in Relation to Us !!!!

Ideally We Should Meet Again !!!!
However that May Not Be Practical
All things considered ????

So Other than an Exchange
of Letters or an Exchange
of e-mails ???? - Well I
I Would Prefare a Dialogue
via an Exchange of Letters !!!!

and Ideally it would be Good
If We could be Relaxed and
Light-Hearted and Easygoing
If We Ever Do Talk and Listen
to One Another Ever Again !!!!


It Will Be about Dialogue !!!!
It Will Be about Mutual Understanding !!!!
It Will Be About Making Peace !!!!


My Ultimate Prayer to Almighty God
in Relation to the Two of Us is
Let Only What is Truely Good Occurr Between Us !!!!
Let Only What is Truely Good Be !!!!


Only What is Good !!!!


I have had 2nd Thoughts about Deleting
Most if Not All of this Posting and the
Reoson Why?-is because You Might Read It !!!!

This posting should properly be titled:
"Unfinished Work in Progress" !!!!

Trivia Maybe ????
Astrology is probebly 'Bunkum'
-yet Be Aware I am a Taurus !!!!
I am the Complete Opposite
to Scorpio's like You


-also
There were times I had a Real Sence off
many previous Lifes lived by You !!!!

I Often Remember You !!!!
I Remember Well Your
Arrival in Galway - when I First
saw You there was a Lot of
Golden Light about You and
Everything seemed to go into Slow Motion
[even though you were walking very fast]
Initially I assumed You were a European
French?Swiss? Definately Italian
and probebly with no ability to speak English
than You opened your mouth and Spoke
and when I heard the Accent I Hoped You were Canadian
Yeah It was Funny How We Met !!!!
0n the 4th of August 2001 !!!!

I Really Enjoyed Your Company
and I Believe I Fell in Love with You
during those Four Days We Shared !!!!

Oh Yes Something Else that might Give You a Laugh or a Smile ????
- when You left on the 8th You left a Bag of Rice behind You and
I Still have It !!!!- I could never get around to either cooking It
or trowing It out - I often Smile with Amusement anytime I See It !!!!

Anyway
I was Delighted when You
Returned to Galway in October !!!!

and of course it goes without saying
it deeply distressed me when we Fell Out
I Literally could Not Understand
Why? or How? You developed an
Extreme Hostility to me -It was an experiance
for me of Inexplicable Unspeakable Misery
It was a Nightmare that Got Worse and Worse

It was a Dreadfull Time and You Used
to Lash Out in Anger at me whenever
I Politely attempted to Speak to You

Anyway I am Forgiving by Nature !!!!
and of Course 100% I Forgive You !!!!

Yet there are times when i am down
when i feel anger torwrds you and
during those low periods i feel like
really giving out to you[as in giving
you a real 'telling-off']such is the
sence of injustice and hurt that you
left behind in your wake when you departed

Do You Remember when I Asked You:
"Please Can We Make Peace Before You Leave?"
-and You turned around and coldly said:
"It Will Never Happen!!"
- and to this Day
The Situation Between Us is Still UnResolved !!
and That is Your Choice !!

Yes there are times when Forgivess is difficult
Yes there are times I would love
to 'Call You to Account'for your actions
Yes there are times I have the Urge to
make you Pay for what you made me suffer
Yes there are times I have the Urge
to Hit Back at you - Recently when
i was feeling low and in foul form
because of the lousey memories you
are responsible for leaving in your wake:
-I Compared what I was Experiancing to what
Odysseus Endured when He was Listening to
the Songs and Singing of the Sirens
-Likewise 'Moi'when i am in foul form
Remembering You at Your Worst - for It
is Dangerous to Dwell too Long
in Anger Hatred and Recrimination !!

Which is Why Forgiveness
is a Blessed Release !!!!
and a Blessed Liberation !!!!


Yes I have Free Will !!!!
- and when I have
Calmed down and
Come to my Sences !!!!

I Say:"Let Only What is Good Occurr"!!!!
and Often I Say a Prayer to God !!!!
of "Let There Be Forgivess for You" !!!!
Genuine True Scincere Forgivness !!!!




Anything Else ???? oh yeah once more
i feel obliged to 'waffle on about
matters/issues that are "Trivia Maybe" ????

-also

I Dislike Cosmetics -Ugh !!!
Make-up is a Total Turn-Off !!
[do you remember the place you worked at in Galway?
-you told me that you were uncomfertable with the
'smelly' products in the shop-i looked with interest
at you because: I am the Same as You !!!! - I figer in my own case
it is a form of chemical-hypersynsivity]Something else i do not like
about make-up/cosmetics is that they Hide
the Humanity of the Woman !!!!
they Obscure and Hide
the Innate Beauty that Women already have !!!!

You are Actually Very Attractive
in Your Natural State !!!!
You Actually are
a Very Good Looking Woman !!!!
So Please If We Ever Get Together ????
Please Be Your Naturaly Beautiful Self !!!!
I Like You as Nature Made You !!!!

You also have Other Positive Qualities !!!!
There is a Beauty of Spirit in You
that Often Shines Out in Your Writings !!!!
You actually Often are a Very Nice Friendly
Person who Often is entranced with Wonder at
the Beauty and Splendor of Our World and
the Various Experiances that Life Offers
I see You as a fellow Soul and a Spirit with
a Life Path full of Wonderfull Oppurtunities and Blessings !!!!

I have a Lot of Goodwill for You !!!!

I am going to have to Give up
adding to this Tedious Posting
[well actually I have changed my mind again
as you can see:'I am still at It']
Probebly Nobody Reads It Anyway !!
I have a long dismal history
of Foolishness and acting Unwisely
Consequently it is Time to Let Go !!!!
It is Time to hand Everything Over to God !!!!
my Ultimate Prayer in Relation
to You and I is:-
Only what is Good !!!!
Only what will have Good Consequences !!!!
Only what will have Good Consequences for All !!!!

I Believe in and I Pray to God !!!!
and I Believe that it is
Wisest to Let Go !!!!
and Wisest to Hand Everything
Over to the Will Wisdom and Love of God !!!!

God Bless You !!!!